In the summer I, um, "dated" a guy. I'm not really sure what to call it but we spent a lot of time together and were verging on having it become a proper relationship. I don't know if I've mentioned it before but I'm a commitment-phobe. I'm fine until it becomes official and then I freak out and want to end it all. I don't know why. As Taylor Swift puts it, it's "a tendency to run from love" but as we all know, I don't believe in young love. Ah, how cynical. Anyway, in the shower this morning, I came up with a little analogy:
When you meet someone is like when you see a lovely dress in a shop, and when you get to know them and decide you like them is when you think to yourself, yeah I really want to buy that dress. So you buy it, which I've likened to beginning to "date" this person. You begin to wear this dress and spend a lot of time wearing it but you realise that you haven't taken the label off. The label itches you and it all becomes a bit uncomfortable, and the more time you spend wearing this dress, the more you realise you want to take the label off. So, you rip the label off and suddenly things become a lot better. You want to wear this dress all the time, especially now that it's become so familiar and and comfortable.
I hope this is all making sense to you because I have a feeling I haven't expressed myself properly here. What I'm trying to say is I hate having the label of "boyfriend/girlfriend" applied to me and whoever I'm with. So I spoke to this guy a couple of weeks ago and we decided that we should just be friends (oh hello cliche) because we'd sort of drifted apart and there wasn't much point in trying to force a relationship.
Except he and I went out for lunch on Tuesday. Table for two please, oh yes, and we'll have the sharing platter... where you, you know, share a plate. I think it was probably a bit more than just two friends going for a meal. And yesterday, we were meant to meet up with some other friends and all of them bailed so he and I spent the whole day together. He taught me to play pool (I'm crap but that's besides the point). It was so comfortable and relaxed and I think it's because we've taken the label off. There's no pressure, none of this so what are we to each other, and I'm a lot happier. Except I don't have a clue what he's thinking.
In short, there is one very confused Kate Green bumbling around. Help.