I've been thinking recently about my friends. Like, thinking in depth about what I like about them. Or mainly, what I dislike about them. I've realised I like almost nothing about most of them. We just kind of fell into a friendship group together. Most of them I'm only friends with by association, not choice. Like, we'd have a lesson together and then just end up eating lunch together. It kind of became a habit. That's basically what school friendships are, isn't it? Just something, just a habit, to make it all a little less boring, people to pass the time with. Not anyone you're really going to stay in touch with and make godparents to your children.
I only know one, maybe two, friends with whom I actually would like to maintain a friendship. And it just kind of makes me sad because they all seem so genuine, and for all their faults, do actually want to stay in touch. I probably have a ton of faults too. I know I do. So it's funny that some of them probably feel the same way about me, and about the others, too.
And it just makes me sad because I had my first holiday with three of them this summer. I mentioned it here but didn't really talk about it. I totes should have. It was a summer like you read in books, it really was. It was at one of the girl's house in France. It was baking hot weather outside but cool inside. We swam in her pool everyday and always had French bread and cheeses and iced tea for lunch. We camped out in a tent next to the pool and went for midnight swims. Had camp fires at two in the morning and roasted marshmallows. Sang songs and counted all the shooting stars. Made a billion wishes. Cycled during the day to beautiful gardens and got served in little French bars. Bought pizza from the van next to the skate park on Fridays.
Oh I don't even know why I'm writing this. It just depresses me! Anyway, it was a really good week-and-a-bit. skljfahvuihnuiqnc, I don't really know how to end this post now. I've just put myself in a bad mood...