Thursday, 17 September 2015

And she needs you

Time drags when you're lonely. My parents are in Rome with my Grandma. My three best friends are - coincidentally - also in Rome, a little holiday paid for by their £6000+ student loans from last year. My loan - due to a "high household income" - was a piss poor £3600 that didn't even cover my year's rent, so I definitely couldn't use the money to pay for a trip to Rome with them now. And my brother is shut away in his room upstairs playing Minecraft and Skyping his friends, so he's not of much use in the way of alleviating my boredom. 

My boyfriend did come over and stay Tuesday and Wednesday night, to keep me from feeling too lonely. It was really great: we watched a lot of Friends episodes (as per usual), and ordered Dominos on Tuesday night. Yesterday, we hit up Honest in Tooting and both had the "special" burger which had bacon and sauerkraut, amongst other yummy things. We got caught in the rain quite spectacularly and the three minute sprint back to the car had us both looking like we'd just stepped out of the shower.

Last night consisted of watching The Wolf Of Wall Street (I know I'm a little late to the party but OMG, it was so good!) and more Friends. I also cooked for him for the first time - it's usually him in the kitchen because I'm kind of a shit cook - and he happened to actually really like my incredibly basic parmesan-baked chicken dish. Wahaaay! 

He went home this morning though as he's going back to uni tomorrow and was spending one last day with his family today. So that's left me all on my lonesome ownsome since 11am and I don't think I've ever had a longer nine hours in my life. I keep looking at the clock and expecting it to be like 10pm, but really, as I'm writing this, it's only just quarter to eight. I miss my parents and my friends and it's kind of making my heart ache a little bit to know I'm not seeing my boyfriend for four weeks now.

I think we both kind of took the one mile distance between our houses for granted, a bit, this summer. We would see each other maybe two or three times a week, compared to the once a month it is at uni. I've just got so used to seeing him whenever I want that it's going to be so hard to do the long distance relationship thing again at uni. I know that I'll get used to it, just like I was used to it for the whole last year of uni, but I'm really crap at saying goodbye and I always cry.

I'm not even a super emotional person but I've been feeling a bit teary all day. When I'm feeling a bit low like today, all I really want is someone in the room with me. Even if it's just my dad watching TV at the other end of the room, or my mum cooking while I'm sat at the table, it makes me feel a whole lot better. I don't think I could ever live by myself. I'm such a people person and being alone on the regs would probably break me.

One year ago today was the first time that my boyfriend and I first said the "L-word" to each other. We'd both like, known, for a couple of months but since it was kind of a Ross-And-Rachel situation, neither of us said anything. On the day that we confessed our luuuurve for each other, we had a fab burger in Pitt Cue, went to Angel Comedy Club, sat at Southbank at midnight, and went to the Duck and Waffle afterwards. It was such a lovely, magical day/night, even when we got totally lost in Streatham and didn't get home till close to 5am.

It was one of my favourite days I've ever spent with him and I'm sorry for sounding so soppy but I get nostalgic a lot and being all by myself in this dark, cold house with no one to snuggle up to doesn't help matters. I miss my boyfriend, I miss my parents, and I miss my student-loan-rich best friends. I can't wait till they all get back tomorrow because today has been pretty tragic. Time really, really drags when you're lonely.

Song of the day: 

1 comment:

  1. Ughh I feel you. I just moved into my new uni house and I'm the first one to move in so had a day completely alone and then the next few days in kind of a vague, wish wash of not doing anything and not having anyone to see- it sucks!