Time drags when you're lonely. My parents are in Rome with my Grandma. My three best friends are - coincidentally - also in Rome, a little holiday paid for by their £6000+ student loans from last year. My loan - due to a "high household income" - was a piss poor £3600 that didn't even cover my year's rent, so I definitely couldn't use the money to pay for a trip to Rome with them now. And my brother is shut away in his room upstairs playing Minecraft and Skyping his friends, so he's not of much use in the way of alleviating my boredom. My boyfriend did come over and stay Tuesday and Wednesday night, to keep me from feeling too lonely. It was really great: we watched a lot of Friends episodes (as per usual), and ordered Dominos on Tuesday night. Yesterday, we hit up Honest in Tooting and both had the "special" burger which had bacon and sauerkraut, amongst other yummy things. We got caught in the rain quite spectacularly and the three minute sprint back to the car had us both looking like we'd just stepped out of the shower. Last night consisted of watching The Wolf Of Wall Street (I know I'm a little late to the party but OMG, it was so good!) and more Friends. I also cooked for him for the first time - it's usually him in the kitchen because I'm kind of a shit cook - and he happened to actually really like my incredibly basic parmesan-baked chicken dish. Wahaaay! He went home this morning though as he's going back to uni tomorrow and was spending one last day with his family today. So that's left me all on my lonesome ownsome since 11am and I don't think I've ever had a longer nine hours in my life. I keep looking at the clock and expecting it to be like 10pm, but really, as I'm writing this, it's only just quarter to eight. I miss my parents and my friends and it's kind of making my heart ache a little bit to know I'm not seeing my boyfriend for four weeks now. I think we both kind of took the one mile distance between our houses for granted, a bit, this summer. We would see each other maybe two or three times a week, compared to the once a month it is at uni. I've just got so used to seeing him whenever I want that it's going to be so hard to do the long distance relationship thing again at uni. I know that I'll get used to it, just like I was used to it for the whole last year of uni, but I'm really crap at saying goodbye and I always cry. I'm not even a super emotional person but I've been feeling a bit teary all day. When I'm feeling a bit low like today, all I really want is someone in the room with me. Even if it's just my dad watching TV at the other end of the room, or my mum cooking while I'm sat at the table, it makes me feel a whole lot better. I don't think I could ever live by myself. I'm such a people person and being alone on the regs would probably break me. One year ago today was the first time that my boyfriend and I first said the "L-word" to each other. We'd both like, known, for a couple of months but since it was kind of a Ross-And-Rachel situation, neither of us said anything. On the day that we confessed our luuuurve for each other, we had a fab burger in Pitt Cue, went to Angel Comedy Club, sat at Southbank at midnight, and went to the Duck and Waffle afterwards. It was such a lovely, magical day/night, even when we got totally lost in Streatham and didn't get home till close to 5am. It was one of my favourite days I've ever spent with him and I'm sorry for sounding so soppy but I get nostalgic a lot and being all by myself in this dark, cold house with no one to snuggle up to doesn't help matters. I miss my boyfriend, I miss my parents, and I miss my student-loan-rich best friends. I can't wait till they all get back tomorrow because today has been pretty tragic. Time really, really drags when you're lonely. Song of the day:
Happy December! This is by far my favourite month of the year. Everyone gets so excited for Christmas and there are lights and tinsel and presents everywhere and, above all, everyone seems so much happier. I think that's what I love the most. I don't feel like I've properly got into the Christmas spirit yet though because I've got two assignments to finish (to start too, come to think of it...) before I can go home. I finish uni on the 19th which is a week later than everyone else, so it's kind of a bummer that I'm missing all the reunion parties at home because I'm 200 miles away. I'm currently all alone in my student house. The two girls who live upstairs with me have gone home for the weekend, and my two bezzies from downstairs are visiting their families too. There's also a French exchange student who lives downstairs but she's always round at her French-friends-from-home's houses, so I never see her. To make the most of this time, I've been singing SO loudly and walking round in my underwear. It also means that I don't have to wear headphones when I do my marathon skype calls, and I don't need to ask anyone if they're using the oven, or if they need the bathroom right now, and I don't find that my oven tray is coated in grease because my housemate from hell never fucking washes up for herself, or when she uses our things. Fucking hell. Being alone is good because I'm not one of those people who can take being with other people 24/7. Can you tell that eleven weeks of this is a little bit much for me? I kind of need to get home now and sleep on a good mattress, and eat proper mum-cooked food, whilst sitting on an actual sofa. God, I miss sofas. On the bright side, I have two advent calendars (fat shit, I know), a wonderful best friend, and a fabulous boyf. I also do actually like my uni friends (contrary to what it may have sounded like two minutes ago!!!) and I'm so lucky to have found them. I went out with a group of them on Wednesday this week for dinner and we somehow wound up in the VIP lounge in the club with free champagne?! I didn't even know it was going to happen so it was a great night. (Spot me in the dress I always wear...)
Aaaaand, even though I usually only go out once a week, I'd also ventured out on Monday night to a UV themed night at the best Christmas decorated club I've ever seen. I think it might have been the best night out I've had whilst I've been at uni. It was a lot of fun, and a trip to the chicken shop on the way home never goes amiss.
Finally, as tragic as it may sound, my boyfriend (still so weird saying that, it's taking some getting used to!) and I have made a bit of a habit of opening our advent calendars together on skype at midnight. It is a bit hard because he's 150 miles away but I think we're doing goooood, beatin da distance. Things like this make it a lot easier:
This was supposed to be a happy post but it's turned into more of a life update one. Hope you're all well and livin the dreaaaam. Song of the day:
